So as some or all of you are no doubt aware, I've been making a (mostly) weekly webseries since last Halloween. The concept, initially, was to show a new storyline in four or five parts every month, with new characters but in the same world. Sort of a cross between The Outer Limits or The Twilight Zone and any other episodic television show ever.
I've decided though, that the system is imperfect. The main reason for this imperfection being that I'm asking you, the viewer, to a) come back at least four weeks in a row, without b) giving you any reason inside the episodes (aside from them being awesome) to come back after those four weeks.
So now I'm giving you a reason to come back each and every week for all eternity with a little thing I like to call continuity. Instead of trying to build an entire world through stories about disparate people who probably don't even know of each other's existence, I'm going to try and build a more coherent network of characters and relationships. Basically, I'm going to stop going about trying to create a whole universe backwards.
So starting July 3rd (or whenever the hell after my new camera arrives... we're switching to HD, baby!) you'll get a continuing storyline focusing on characters who will grow and change and become more loved or hated than they could in the four episode arcs that usually ended in death up until this point. Of course people will still die. Just not everyone all the time.
You can expect to see some old faces (Mark Benson as played by Jamie McAllister in Necrotesque and Liam Reiniger as played by Duncan McEachern in The Horror in the Eidolon Apartments being two early candidates) as well as many new ones in the new, continuing story which is just over the horizon. It's going to be fun for me to bring back old characters and finally get to develop everyone a little more, and hopefully it'll be fun for you, the viewer as well.
The first season is going to run from July through September and consist of eight to twelve episodes. That's as far ahead as I'm willing to plan because let's face it: this, like everything that has come before it, is one giant experiment in internet entertainment.
Anyways, to those of you who have been watching thus far, thanks for tuning in. For those of you just joining us (or planning on joining in now that you know we exist) welcome! And to all of you: Enjoy!
If you haven't already, go over and check out the start of things to come.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Hypothetical Double Bill: Terminator Salvation & Drag Me To Hell
So over the last few weeks I've seen quite a few movies in theaters. From the broad selection of review opportunities in front of me, I'm going to pick two: one highlight, and one lowlight.
Terminator Salvation
With a freshness rating of 33% (ie. rotten) on Rotten Tomatoes, and a mere 52 on metacritic, my expectations for Terminator Salvation were low. I was expecting a movie which wasn't good, but wasn't bad either.
Man, was I disappointed.
Terminator Salvation is bad. It is actively bad. It is Star Wars: Episodes I, II & III bad.
I'm going to try and keep this thing spoiler free, but to be honest I don't think spoilers could really make your experience with this movie any worse.
But before I get into the meat of the review I would just like to take a moment and acknowledge the surplus of apparent production problems suffered in the making of this movie. I am willing to give the filmmakers the benefit of the doubt, and dilute the blame for this movie's absolute failure to entertain me in the manner advertised (I don't think they planned to entertain me by giving me something to complain about... if that was the plan then just read this review as is, but with a good rating at the end).
That caveat aside, let's get down to the suckage.
Neither the plot, nor the characters were engaging. Sam Worthington came closest to being a relateable character, but I actually found that problematic. Why? Because the man is a former death row inmate who is on a quest for redemption throughout the movie (get it? Terminater Salvation?). But he is, pretty much from the word "go" the only nice, kind, even remotely likable character in the film. He is maybe unlikable for 30 odd seconds at the beginning, but otherwise he's a pretty ok, really repentant dude. Which makes his attempt at salvation emotionally unsatisfying because... well... you have to hate someone before you can become emotionally attached to their journey of betterment. When he's already the nicest guy around, him trying to get better doesn't inspire anything other than boredom.
To be fair, Anton Yelchin did a great job as Kyle Reese. His first line is classic. Perfectly delivered. Excellent. One of the few high points of the film. But he is ultimately little more than a plot device and/or minor character--just like everyone else in the movie except for Worthington and Christian Bale.
Christian Bale. I was a little disappointed by Bale's decision to play John Connor as Batman. The choice to use the same (or nearly same) coarse voice Bale used for Bruce Wayne's disguised voice in Batman Begins and The Dark Knight struck me as odd. However, I can understand it given the writers' decision to write John Connor as a cold, unemotional, humourless husk of a man. This character--the 'hero'--is completely unlikable. He's a pompous jerk, and I didn't care if he lived or died.
That's not entirely true. By about the half way mark I was chanting "John Connor must die" inside my head. I was rooting for the machines.
I'm not going to really discuss the plot beyond saying that it is thin. Thinner than paper thin. Perhaps even digital paper thin (your monitor does not count).
It is also full of holes, which director McG has tried (and failed, in my opinion) to fill. You can decide for yourself here (thar be spoilers!)
My number one beef with the movie though is the dollops of exposition which are dumped on us repeatedly without so much as a hint of grace. "How so?" you ask.
Well, after a brief character introduction (via flashback, bleh), we are greeted with an opening crawl. Seriously? A god-damned text crawl? Come on people. Star Wars mastered that, and simultaneously made it more or less obsolete unless you are going to be somehow innovative. Otherwise it's just lazy. Like here.
**MARGINAL SPOILER-ISH THINGS SORT OF MIGHT FOLLOW! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED-ISH SO DON'T GET MAD AT ME IF YOU KEEP READING AND FEEL LIKE THIS SOMEHOW RUINED THE MOVIE**
Then, and worse than the above, Sam Worthington meets with SkyNet towards the end of the movie. I think this was supposed to be something of a climax? Except that SkyNet has, in the intervening years, become little more than an exposition machine. Yawn.
Also omniscient apparently. Unless Christian Bale has been shouting "Kyle Reese will be my father!" from the goddamn mountain tops. But if he's been doing that, then frankly he deserves what he's got coming because what the fuck John Connor? Keep that shit a secret! I mean, come on man. Why the hell would you ever think that it was a good idea to tell anyone that some dude you're going to have to send back in time is going to be your father? What could possibly possess you to share that incredibly important piece of information with anyone during a war in which you know the enemy can create really, really convincing machine spies?
Sarah would be disappointed.
And if Sarah is not disappointed then when did SkyNet develop the ability to see the future? And why is it so crappy at it?
But enough about the plot. **SPOILER END**
Just briefly I would also like to complain (let's be honest here) about the absolute lack of vision shown in the design of pretty much everything. SkyNet is an incredibly advanced Artificial Intelligence. With a big base and a bunch of other junk. Which it built. But instead of trying to design things that a machine might design, everything is clearly made by humans, for humans.
Also, Terminators are really pretty wimpy in this movie. Easily sidetracked and/or defeated. By rebels armed with what? Guns. Stop and think about this for a moment. You've been in a 15 year war with machines and the best you can do is pre-war guns? Against friggin' machines?
So let me get this straight. You're fighting against an army of intelligent metal robots. So to beat them you're going to shoot them with lead bullets? Genius!
Now I'll admit there is an innovation with mines, which is clever, and maybe one other creative solution (and jury-rigged... I believed it!) to the whole killing terminators thing. But I wish there has been more advances like that. Weapons designed with killing machines in mind. Because after 15 years if they hadn't innovated at all, I don't think anyone would be alive period. Especially when you consider the raw firepower leveled at Terminators in the earlier films... to little or no effect.
All that said, the movie is probably not as bad as my viewing of it was. And in part that is because this film is following in the footsteps of great films. But it is also because almost every frame is filled to the brim with so much lost potential. And that's too bad. The film these people made could have been great. And if you watch close enough you can see the greatness just over the horizon.
Hopefully we'll reach that horizon for T5. But if nothing else, my expectations for that film will be even lower.
0/3 - Yes. It really was that bad. If you're thinking of going, I'd recommend doing something else with your $10. Like lighting it on fire.
Now that we've all hypothetically sat through Terminator Salvation, let's take a quick break to dry our tears, before moving on to the second film in our double bill:
Drag Me To Hell
It's been a long time since Sam Raimi has tried his hand at directing a horror film, although you can see the influence slipping through in his producer credits and, more significantly, Spiderman 2.
Of course, as anyone who has watched so much as the trailer knows, this film is not straight up horror. Like Raimi's Evil Dead Trilogy, Drag Me To Hell has more than a little bit of comedy in it. It's not an obvious combination and it's an even harder one to do well, but if anyone could pull it off it's Sam Raimi.
The way I see it, the Evil Dead Trilogy can be viewed as a spectrum from pure horror (The Evil Dead) to pure comedy (Army of Darkness). Drag Me To Hell falls just slightly to the right of The Evil Dead, but closer to that film than Evil Dead 2.
And it works. It works so god damn well. It is the greatest film I didn't know I wanted to see until I saw it. It works so well, in fact, that it may be my favourite film ever. And this is coming from someone who has never before been able to pick a single favourite film.
Of course, that will require a second viewing to confirm (and likely a retrospective revisit here), but enough gushing, let's get down to it.
While watching the film I was slightly annoyed by its too often reliance upon cheap scare tactics (ie. jump scares). I generally am not a fan of this type of scare when it is over relied upon as I felt it was at the time. However, my opinion changed towards the second half of the movie when Raimi started backing the jumps with something a little more genuinely scary, rather than startling.
The kitten is brilliant. When you know, you'll know. Until then I can't say any more without ruining it. But seriously--brilliant.
From there the movie gradually moves towards creepy comedy, in a move which is frankly awesome, until ultimately pulling a 180 back to straight up, horrifying horror.
And that is why the movie is awesome. That is why is succeeds. It starts by scaring you, then lulls you into a false sense of security before leaving you feeling creeped the hell out. It pulls it off like no other film I have ever seen. And it works.
Which is why I forgive the jump scares. They are cheap here only when viewed outside of the context of the whole film. In context, they are a primer for the third act. Without them, the movie would not be nearly as effective. With them, it is nearly perfect.
Bear in mind that prior to seeing Drag Me To Hell, The Evil Dead was a close contender for my favourite movie (still easily in my top 5). The way I see it, Drag Me To Hell is The Evil Dead honed to perfection. This, like all film viewership, is highly subjective. But if you liked The Evil Dead, and are not a completely humourless husk of a human being (you know, like John Connor) I can't see why you would not love this film.
Well, I can see it, but I don't fully understand it. What I can see is that the horror/comedy medley Raimi has prepared is not obvious. It is not normal. And it is not what anyone expects (like, is it a horror movie, or is it a comedy, geeze?). I certainly didn't expect it. But if you can set all that aside and just go along for the ride, there is a lot to love about this film.
As a final thought, as much as I am satisfied with this film, and as much as Terminator Salvation has demonstrated the mixed blessing which sequels represent, I cannot help but think of the possibility of Justin Long as Clay Dalton being a spiritual successor to Bruce Campbell as Ash Williams. His comedy is pitch perfect in this film, including a hilarious performance in the background during Alison Lohman's first visit to the psychic played by Dileep Rao.
Anyway, this film is not for everyone, as demonstrated by the mostly empty theater I watched it in (on opening night) and the prevailing tone of the comments made by other viewers. But if it is for you? Then it is really for you.
3/3 - If it's not for you, then you probably already know that it's not for you. If you don't know, then what are you doing here? Go watch Drag Me To Hell!
Terminator Salvation
With a freshness rating of 33% (ie. rotten) on Rotten Tomatoes, and a mere 52 on metacritic, my expectations for Terminator Salvation were low. I was expecting a movie which wasn't good, but wasn't bad either.
Man, was I disappointed.
Terminator Salvation is bad. It is actively bad. It is Star Wars: Episodes I, II & III bad.
I'm going to try and keep this thing spoiler free, but to be honest I don't think spoilers could really make your experience with this movie any worse.
But before I get into the meat of the review I would just like to take a moment and acknowledge the surplus of apparent production problems suffered in the making of this movie. I am willing to give the filmmakers the benefit of the doubt, and dilute the blame for this movie's absolute failure to entertain me in the manner advertised (I don't think they planned to entertain me by giving me something to complain about... if that was the plan then just read this review as is, but with a good rating at the end).
That caveat aside, let's get down to the suckage.
Neither the plot, nor the characters were engaging. Sam Worthington came closest to being a relateable character, but I actually found that problematic. Why? Because the man is a former death row inmate who is on a quest for redemption throughout the movie (get it? Terminater Salvation?). But he is, pretty much from the word "go" the only nice, kind, even remotely likable character in the film. He is maybe unlikable for 30 odd seconds at the beginning, but otherwise he's a pretty ok, really repentant dude. Which makes his attempt at salvation emotionally unsatisfying because... well... you have to hate someone before you can become emotionally attached to their journey of betterment. When he's already the nicest guy around, him trying to get better doesn't inspire anything other than boredom.
To be fair, Anton Yelchin did a great job as Kyle Reese. His first line is classic. Perfectly delivered. Excellent. One of the few high points of the film. But he is ultimately little more than a plot device and/or minor character--just like everyone else in the movie except for Worthington and Christian Bale.
Christian Bale. I was a little disappointed by Bale's decision to play John Connor as Batman. The choice to use the same (or nearly same) coarse voice Bale used for Bruce Wayne's disguised voice in Batman Begins and The Dark Knight struck me as odd. However, I can understand it given the writers' decision to write John Connor as a cold, unemotional, humourless husk of a man. This character--the 'hero'--is completely unlikable. He's a pompous jerk, and I didn't care if he lived or died.
That's not entirely true. By about the half way mark I was chanting "John Connor must die" inside my head. I was rooting for the machines.
I'm not going to really discuss the plot beyond saying that it is thin. Thinner than paper thin. Perhaps even digital paper thin (your monitor does not count).
It is also full of holes, which director McG has tried (and failed, in my opinion) to fill. You can decide for yourself here (thar be spoilers!)
My number one beef with the movie though is the dollops of exposition which are dumped on us repeatedly without so much as a hint of grace. "How so?" you ask.
Well, after a brief character introduction (via flashback, bleh), we are greeted with an opening crawl. Seriously? A god-damned text crawl? Come on people. Star Wars mastered that, and simultaneously made it more or less obsolete unless you are going to be somehow innovative. Otherwise it's just lazy. Like here.
**MARGINAL SPOILER-ISH THINGS SORT OF MIGHT FOLLOW! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED-ISH SO DON'T GET MAD AT ME IF YOU KEEP READING AND FEEL LIKE THIS SOMEHOW RUINED THE MOVIE**
Then, and worse than the above, Sam Worthington meets with SkyNet towards the end of the movie. I think this was supposed to be something of a climax? Except that SkyNet has, in the intervening years, become little more than an exposition machine. Yawn.
Also omniscient apparently. Unless Christian Bale has been shouting "Kyle Reese will be my father!" from the goddamn mountain tops. But if he's been doing that, then frankly he deserves what he's got coming because what the fuck John Connor? Keep that shit a secret! I mean, come on man. Why the hell would you ever think that it was a good idea to tell anyone that some dude you're going to have to send back in time is going to be your father? What could possibly possess you to share that incredibly important piece of information with anyone during a war in which you know the enemy can create really, really convincing machine spies?
Sarah would be disappointed.
And if Sarah is not disappointed then when did SkyNet develop the ability to see the future? And why is it so crappy at it?
But enough about the plot. **SPOILER END**
Just briefly I would also like to complain (let's be honest here) about the absolute lack of vision shown in the design of pretty much everything. SkyNet is an incredibly advanced Artificial Intelligence. With a big base and a bunch of other junk. Which it built. But instead of trying to design things that a machine might design, everything is clearly made by humans, for humans.
Also, Terminators are really pretty wimpy in this movie. Easily sidetracked and/or defeated. By rebels armed with what? Guns. Stop and think about this for a moment. You've been in a 15 year war with machines and the best you can do is pre-war guns? Against friggin' machines?
So let me get this straight. You're fighting against an army of intelligent metal robots. So to beat them you're going to shoot them with lead bullets? Genius!
Now I'll admit there is an innovation with mines, which is clever, and maybe one other creative solution (and jury-rigged... I believed it!) to the whole killing terminators thing. But I wish there has been more advances like that. Weapons designed with killing machines in mind. Because after 15 years if they hadn't innovated at all, I don't think anyone would be alive period. Especially when you consider the raw firepower leveled at Terminators in the earlier films... to little or no effect.
All that said, the movie is probably not as bad as my viewing of it was. And in part that is because this film is following in the footsteps of great films. But it is also because almost every frame is filled to the brim with so much lost potential. And that's too bad. The film these people made could have been great. And if you watch close enough you can see the greatness just over the horizon.
Hopefully we'll reach that horizon for T5. But if nothing else, my expectations for that film will be even lower.
0/3 - Yes. It really was that bad. If you're thinking of going, I'd recommend doing something else with your $10. Like lighting it on fire.
Now that we've all hypothetically sat through Terminator Salvation, let's take a quick break to dry our tears, before moving on to the second film in our double bill:
Drag Me To Hell
It's been a long time since Sam Raimi has tried his hand at directing a horror film, although you can see the influence slipping through in his producer credits and, more significantly, Spiderman 2.
Of course, as anyone who has watched so much as the trailer knows, this film is not straight up horror. Like Raimi's Evil Dead Trilogy, Drag Me To Hell has more than a little bit of comedy in it. It's not an obvious combination and it's an even harder one to do well, but if anyone could pull it off it's Sam Raimi.
The way I see it, the Evil Dead Trilogy can be viewed as a spectrum from pure horror (The Evil Dead) to pure comedy (Army of Darkness). Drag Me To Hell falls just slightly to the right of The Evil Dead, but closer to that film than Evil Dead 2.
And it works. It works so god damn well. It is the greatest film I didn't know I wanted to see until I saw it. It works so well, in fact, that it may be my favourite film ever. And this is coming from someone who has never before been able to pick a single favourite film.
Of course, that will require a second viewing to confirm (and likely a retrospective revisit here), but enough gushing, let's get down to it.
While watching the film I was slightly annoyed by its too often reliance upon cheap scare tactics (ie. jump scares). I generally am not a fan of this type of scare when it is over relied upon as I felt it was at the time. However, my opinion changed towards the second half of the movie when Raimi started backing the jumps with something a little more genuinely scary, rather than startling.
The kitten is brilliant. When you know, you'll know. Until then I can't say any more without ruining it. But seriously--brilliant.
From there the movie gradually moves towards creepy comedy, in a move which is frankly awesome, until ultimately pulling a 180 back to straight up, horrifying horror.
And that is why the movie is awesome. That is why is succeeds. It starts by scaring you, then lulls you into a false sense of security before leaving you feeling creeped the hell out. It pulls it off like no other film I have ever seen. And it works.
Which is why I forgive the jump scares. They are cheap here only when viewed outside of the context of the whole film. In context, they are a primer for the third act. Without them, the movie would not be nearly as effective. With them, it is nearly perfect.
Bear in mind that prior to seeing Drag Me To Hell, The Evil Dead was a close contender for my favourite movie (still easily in my top 5). The way I see it, Drag Me To Hell is The Evil Dead honed to perfection. This, like all film viewership, is highly subjective. But if you liked The Evil Dead, and are not a completely humourless husk of a human being (you know, like John Connor) I can't see why you would not love this film.
Well, I can see it, but I don't fully understand it. What I can see is that the horror/comedy medley Raimi has prepared is not obvious. It is not normal. And it is not what anyone expects (like, is it a horror movie, or is it a comedy, geeze?). I certainly didn't expect it. But if you can set all that aside and just go along for the ride, there is a lot to love about this film.
As a final thought, as much as I am satisfied with this film, and as much as Terminator Salvation has demonstrated the mixed blessing which sequels represent, I cannot help but think of the possibility of Justin Long as Clay Dalton being a spiritual successor to Bruce Campbell as Ash Williams. His comedy is pitch perfect in this film, including a hilarious performance in the background during Alison Lohman's first visit to the psychic played by Dileep Rao.
Anyway, this film is not for everyone, as demonstrated by the mostly empty theater I watched it in (on opening night) and the prevailing tone of the comments made by other viewers. But if it is for you? Then it is really for you.
3/3 - If it's not for you, then you probably already know that it's not for you. If you don't know, then what are you doing here? Go watch Drag Me To Hell!
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